#23 Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude

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http://life.hereisthecity.com/the_soul_clinic/at_work/1098.cntns


November 5th 2009

Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude

It should not be surprising with everything that is going on in the world that big changes are happening. You read about them daily in the newspapers, hear about them on the news, and all my friends seem to be at the age where they are either getting married or having kids, more big changes. But somehow it’s still shocking when change happens to you. I woke up one morning not too long ago and decided that my days in London were numbered. In all honesty, I had not really been thinking about what lie at home, but it turned out to be a ticking time bomb. So in the past 2 weeks, I have turned over my company to my business partner, decided to move back to Southern California next spring, and have started doing remote work for my family company. Big changes to say the least.

There are times when I don’t even think it’s all hit me yet, even though all of this change was of my own doing. I don’t think even I realised how stressed, and ultimately unhappy I was becoming. But when I see people now, even though it’s only been 2 weeks, they comment on how well I look, how happy I look, and how stress free I look. I even sound different. I now go to the gym 5 days a week, work out with a personal trainer, am aiming to lose the “Heathrow injection” (the 20 or so pounds most people gain in London), and am seriously considering giving up smoking for the first time in 6 years. I walk my dog 2 hours each day, I write every day, and I am incredibly grateful for being given this window of time to get my life back before I delve fully into my next venture.

It’s incredibly exciting but also very very scary. I have not lived in Newport Beach for over a decade and quite frankly it scares the shit out of me. I genuinely think my boyfriend, Matt, will have an easier time adjusting than I will. Why? Because it won’t be new for me. I won’t be the token novelty American from “the OC”. I know exactly what I am going back to and I also know exactly why I left in the first place. English people think I am nuts for having ever lived over here when I come from paradise. But as many of us born and bred Bubble-ites know, there is often trouble in Paradise. So why go back then? I want to go back because of the incredible opportunity that lies there. I have been given an opportunity to be a part of a long running family tradition, and I have also been given the opportunity to gain back my health, sanity, and suntan.

But this in now where the real change lies. Not in the fact that I am changing career, although I am sure I will have numerous articles on the ups and downs of working with my immediate family. But the changes and adaptations I will have to make to be able to re-integrate back into American society. Believe me it’s harder than it seems. I remember friends going abroad our Junior year of Brown and coming back Spring semester and practically being in culture shock. Coming back to the States after being in Europe proved to be more difficult than they thought. I also remember the culture shock of my first semester out in Rhode Island. I hated it. I never thought of transferring, but I was not happy. Things clearly got better and I ended up loving it, but those first 3 months when I was adjusting were miserable. Then moving back to LA and living in Santa Monica with no job and no friends. I distinctly recall my first couple of months, before my roommate and I became really close again, were lonely months indeed. But nothing will ever top off London. Moving here in January 2003, which I know now is the single most depressing month of the entire calendar year in the UK. I broke up with my boyfriend, whom I pretended I moved here for, 2 weeks after arriving and I knew 1 other person. I remember actually crying myself to sleep out of loneliness. I was heartbroken at the time, I had no friends, no family, no job and it’s dark at 3:30pm. But all of those pivotal changes are what have shaped me into who I am today. Not that I am anything major, but I am certainly proud of what I have achieved and I think deservedly so. This is why I can go into this major change with confidence. People always study trends and if big changes have always worked out in the past for me, then I see no reason why they won’t work out in the future.

I was telling a friend last night, that you make everyday decisions and business decisions with your head, and life changing pivotal decisions with your heart. It is a formula that has served me well. So changing my latitude will inevitably change my attitude or it is that I need to adjust my attitude to my new latitude? Probably a little bit of both, but the one thing I do know is that change is good, it’s certainly hard and often times it’s necessary. It’s been almost 6 years in London, and it’s time for a shake up.