#18 My Better Half

September 24th, 2009

My Better Half

This is my 18th instalment of The Ride and it has been brought to my attention on more than one occasion that I never mention my better half, Matt. I would like to point out that he has stated in the past that he doesn’t want to be mentioned or written about and also I would like to note that he doesn’t actually read any of my articles. I am pretty sure he thinks they are something too personal for him to read and he likes to keep this area of my life to me. The reason I bring it up now, is that he is a huge reason for why I am even here in London, running my own business, and writing about it.

Now in most articles I read about entrepreneurs, you read about their supportive ‘Partner’ and how they could not have done it on their own, etc. I beg to differ, I think they if they were given the same opportunity at the same time, they would’ve still done it if they were single. Would it have been hell those first few months or years? Yes. But it would’ve been hell anyway; the only difference is that you don’t have anyone to share that hell with. No one to come home to and let off steam (complain) to, no one to bring you back to reality and remind you that it’s ‘just work.’ So yes they probably would’ve still started up, but will they make it to year 5? This is where it all gets tricky. One of the best things about having a support system is that it provides what is says on the tin. Support in the bad times and someone to celebrate with in the good times. I love my girlfriends, but they all have their own lives. They give as much support at they possibly can, but each has her own career, relationship, and life. One couldn’t ask for more. My family have always been my go to support system, but with them living an 11 hour flight away, it means that they can’t always be there either. As I have gotten older I have had to rely on more than my family for support, and this is where my better half has got his name of ‘better half’ rather than ‘other half. ‘

I can only imagine what I would be like without him. I am selfish enough as is; I shudder to think of who I would become left to my own devices. There is always that saying, “Behind every good man is a good woman” and obviously I translate this into a genderless saying as although I am named after my father, I am still a girl. But I believe it. A strong, supportive and most importantly confident, other half is essential. Someone who pushes you to get out of bed on a Monday and who still gets excited when you do a deal. Someone who understands why on Friday night all you want to do is get sh*t housed and then tucks you into bed in foetal position with a glass of water by your bed. Someone who reminds you when you start getting too bossy (Corre I don’t work for you, you can’t just point and demand something), and also reminds you that you are more than just a manager, businessman, and employee. But the most crucial part is finding someone who doesn’t compete with you and isn’t jealous. Comfortable and confident in themselves, and thus fully able to be happy and supportive of you. That is the kicker. That is the tough part. I haven’t come across many and have certainly had my fair share of those who were not impressed with all that I had achieved and could barely suppress their resentment.

So when you find one, you hold on to them. They are valuable and very difficult to replace. My better half makes me human when I appear to the world as a super bitch. People meet him and think, ‘oh, well she must not be that bad if such a nice guy is with her.’ So while I am constantly hearing propaganda about the Alpha Woman and Independent Woman and whatever other term we wish to tag on the successful woman of the new millennium, if she is moderately sane and happy, there is often a strong man behind her. Reminding her that he loves her anyway, and doesn’t care about the big deal she has just lost, the promotion she got turned down for, or the client she failed to win. Someone who celebrates even your small wins. So while he is no saint, screws up, has more than his fair share of flaws and at times drives me insane, he is still there, everyday, allowing me to be me and not trying to change me. So for that I say, thank you.