February 19, 2010
If I Were a Boy
Last week’s The Ride was skipped purely due to the fact that I had not much to write about. I figure there is no point boring you guys with some contrived article or topic that I am attempting to make interesting. However, this week is different. This week I am once again in California and in a mere 4 and a half days, am attempting to find a place to live and start building a foundation for a new life here. It got me think yesterday how different things would be if I were a boy.
I was thinking how often my directness is misunderstood for brashness and how my confidence is misunderstood for arrogance. People are always trying to find my ‘soft side’ and are convinced that I must be nicer and more empathetic than I really am, unwilling to accept the fact that as a girl I could be anything less. But then I was thinking that if I were a boy, everything about me that seems a bit off right now would become crystal clear. My love of fast cars would not seem masculine or butch, but completely and utterly normal. When I say out loud that I want to buy a Ferrari 599 for my 40th birthday, those quick slightly disapproving glances would be no longer. The fact that I get along with guys so much more than with girls would not make me a “guy’s girl” or a tomboy. It would never seem strange that I am able to discuss the weekend football at the office. My ambition would never come into question and there would not be the never ending and no winning debate of children or career. Men have both quite easily and always have.
Now, don’t get me wrong… I would not trade my bits for their bits any day of the week. Most of the time, I am more than happy being the fairer sex. But, I would be lying if I said it was all the time. There are times when I think it would be easier to be a boy. Not in a transsexual way, but more in an envious way. We still live with so many old fashioned values. I have a number of guys friends who are about to be 30 and some well into their 30’s who are single. Does anyone look at them with pity and wonder why they haven’t married and “what is wrong with them?” No. In fact, it’s the opposite. Their bachelorhood is celebrated and their stock goes up as they ‘focus on their career.’ How about my girlfriends who are in the same group? Of course people wonder why they are not married! They are labeled as too ‘career focused’ and that then becomes the very reason for their singlehood. Their stock doesn’t rise as they pay packet rises. They don’t become more attractive as their job title becomes more senior. It’s the exact opposite of what happens to the boys and it sucks.
So what am I trying to say? That I am bitter about being born a girl? Well that might have been the case had I been born in China (where they probably would’ve killed me) or in Japan (where first born sons are so clearly favored). But luckily for me, I was born in the States, where it’s probably the best place in the world to be a self-professed ‘guy’s girl.’ Growing up I could body surf with the boys, play sports with them and hang out with them without ever feeling that I was that weird. But as we get older, what happens to us tomboys who don’t ever stop being a tomboy?
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You know, Corre, you should really stop thinking that you are so important and so different than other women. You aren't. You have been sold a load of goods that are going to continue to make you unhappy and cynical. There is alot of good in the world, whether it is in London or Newport Beach, and the sooner that you get off your high-horse and start looking for ways to help others, you will see how boring your blog filled with "crap and contrived opinions" has gotten to be. Male or female, you get much more out of life when you demonstrate love, humility, and servitute to others.
ReplyDeleteof yourself a bit less important than I think you do.
That comment is interesting and brutally honest. Looking forward to seeing a possible change, when lightening strikes... or the light switch turns on and what you might see in the mirror is not pretty.
ReplyDeleteI am 30 years old so I doubt that my actual character is going to change that much at this point. I've always been like Marmite, you either love me or hate me and luckily I have enough friends. Demonstrating love, humility and servitude to others.... is never going to describe me and I am not losing any sleep or friends over it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous, the lightening certainly has struck.
who are these anonymous people? i'm baffled by these comments. as a 31-yr old guy's girl who also has lots of female friends i think pretty much everything in this post is dead on and i don't at all see how it makes corre seem unloving or vain.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure these friends talk about how much they dislike you behind your back. But I am sure you won't lose sleep over it. Also, anyone who describes themselves to have a character 'like Marmite' is a cretin.
ReplyDelete