Wednesday, November 4, 2009

#21 The Bermuda Triangle

October 15th, 2009

The Bermuda Triangle

Now I know that I harp on quite about a bit about having it all, but I can't seem to help it. Call me naive, but I do want it all. When people are asked what are the 3 top things that are important to them, 9 times of our 10 these three are inevitably included; financial security (ie lots of money), family and happiness. But can we ever really have all three?

If I want to make a lot of money, and I am not talking about second home money, but fourth home and yacht type money, then how much of the other two will have to be sacrificied? It seems like it is possible to have 2 out of the 3, but having all 3 is very illusive. I could make a lot of money doing something that I love to do, and thus be happy on one front and also financially secure. But what time is left for my family? And by family I am including not only my family I have now, but also the family I want to have one day of my own. Or I could spend a lot of time with my family, raise my children without a nanny, be happy on that front and not make a huge amout of money. But I am failing to see how I actually can have all three? Many may disagree with me, but I don't think you can have them all. At least not all at once. I call these the Bermuda Triangle because they are elusive and the journey and outcome can often be dangerous.

So what do I do? Do I sacrifice my career dreams and financial goals for love and family and happiness or do I sacrifice my family life for a bucket load of money. Now for many this will be a no brainer, and I envy those. I wish this was a no brainer for me. Many would not dream of trading in their happiness and the love of their family for a killer career and the finer things in life that that career can provide, but it's not that cut and dry for me. I can honestly say I would not be happy with just 2 of the 3. I also know a lot of people and read about a lot of people who have most certainly sacrificied happiness and family for their career and money. I can look at the women, not only here in London or where I grew up in Newport Beach, who marry for money, but also all the men and (fewer) women who work 100 hours per week for a lot of cash and both lots are often far from happy. So if we know that money doesn't buy happiness, or love or friendship, but only material comfort, then why are so many of dead set on sacrificing everything for it?

Are we kidding ourselves when we dream of having it all? Do we actually know anyone who does have it all? It's all so personal anyway, it's very tough to measure. This day and age giving off the perception of having it all, is more than enough for many people, making it even more difficult to study and perhaps attempt to emulate those who do.

Do we settle for 2 of the 3? In fact, many people would probably be happy with even 1 of the 3. But I am not most people and never have been. I am going to somehow figure out how to have all 3 and I think the journey will probably reveal the secret. One always hears it's the journey, not the destination and I think there is a lot of truth in that. So we will see. I think as long as you are on the right path, with the right people and the right frame of mind, then having it all is just like your own personal Margaritaville, more a state of mind than an actual place.

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