#28 Cold Hard Cash

December 17th 2009

Cold Hard Cash


It’s interesting what many of us think we would do for cold hard cash. Cash seems to make so many of our problems go away. We imagine how much bigger our house would be, what kind of car we would drive, and the new clothes we would wear. However, I think that many of us overestimate just exactly what we would do for cold hard cash.

I was faced with this situation very early on in my career, my first real job in fact. I was lucky to get a job at the time and the first job I did get was working as a junior trader for one of the big equity traders at an investment bank in Los Angeles. I had never wanted to work in finance before, but trading seemed like an exciting and adrenalin filled world. Oh how wrong I was. Now don’t get me wrong. There are numerous types of trading that are adrenalin filled, just not the kind I was doing. We traded on behalf of large fund managers, so basically all we did was execute the trades, which came to us in the quantities of hundreds of thousands, and took commission off the back of that.

I had to be at the office at 2:30 AM everyday as we were trading on New York hours. Looking around the office, it was difficult not to notice that I was one of 2 females and the youngest by a few years. It was an opportunity that many would give a lot for. A good 80% of the guys had been there their entire careers and were now in the 40’s, 50’s and early 60’s. They took home anywhere from $1m to $3m upwards each year in salary and while those are no hedge fund numbers, that is still serious cash. The more junior guys in the office still did well and made well into the 6 figures. I knew at 22 that by 30 I would be in a position where I could be making millions each year. Maybe because I was so young, the figures didn’t seem real. But I also knew that I would be trading in my 20’s for money. Also, my 30’s and part of my 40’s. That was when I first discovered that I am not that motivated just by cold hard cash.

It’s an interesting discovery as I had always thought I was money motivated and do think I am to a certain extent. But there I was, 6 months into a job that I hated, working hours that gave me zits for the first time in my life and I was miserable. My roommate was coming in from a night out as I was leaving for work. I remember making the decision based on the weight of my unhappiness and knowing that no amount of money was worth it. I was 22, the world was supposed to be my oyster, I would figure out other ways to make money and I did.
I remember telling my parents, who were not happy. There were very proud that I had got a good job with the prospects of a successful career and they felt that 6 months was not enough time for me to make a decision. But sometimes you know you are right and that is it. I thought, how many more months do I have to be unhappy to know that I am unhappy? Turned out, 0 more months. But the reason I bring this up is that I don’t know many people who would trade in their happiness, sanity and the most precious thing of all; their health for money. (Did I mention I had taken to crying at the drop of a hat?) Many people may think they would, but that is just their greed talking. Of course, many people do trade these things in every day for money, but to what is extent? I always remain very grateful I got to experience that very early on in my career as it forced me to learn that there is a lot I won’t do for money. I want the cold hard cash to be the by product, not the main gig.

Perhaps I think this way because I have always lived in relative comfort but I don’t think so. I was told from a young age that I could do anything I wanted if I put my mind to it and even with 30 knocking at the door, I still truly believe that. That is why I don’t think, even if I grew up impoverished, that I would sacrifice all that is important to me for money. Somehow cold hard cash is just not enough.